Invasion of the Multi-Slackers Part 1

Forget the invasion from space, our spaces are being invaded every day and we don't even notice!

That's right... THEY are all around us, with their music/noise, their lackadaisical attitudes, and their weird language. If you're a Boomer or even a Young'un, you may have guessed who I'm talking about. It's the Younglings. That strange in-between group of multi-slackers that feed off their families and offer little to society but scorn and spending dollars. Oddly enough, this is also the prime demographic to which most movies, television shows and advertisements are geared.

But to be fair, most of these Younglings have only known life as viewed through the lenses of Pluto in Sagittarius. They don't realize that kids don't really "rule" like the Kool-Aid pitcher insists in his frighteningly youth-oriented commercials. Many of these priveleged children know only how to float through an endless sea of indulgent excess, relying on daddy's money and mommy's long-suffering nature to slide them through life, instead of absorbing on-the-fly wisdom through overcoming personal challenges.

(We interrupt this tirade for a side comment. A new friend/client sent an email after reading this entry that she was concerned it might appear as if I'm being negative about kids instead of positive regarding the coming transformations. Well, I had to think about it long and hard; she's a clever woman with a sensitive soul, and I can be a bit... abrasive at times.

And then I realized I'm just the messenger, the herald, the Klaxon horn of change, if you will. Remember the scene in the movie Network, where everyone all over the city throws open their windows and screams, "I'm fed up and I'm not going to stand for it anymore!" Well, I'm merely the New Age equivalent of that newscaster who was the first to flip out, throw open his window, and bray it to the moon.

So... that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Truly, it's not so much that I'm being negative as reporting on a temporarily negative phenomenon... one that will make huge ripples in the lake of change before it appears positive again.

My message especially concerns the millions of kids all over the country whose parents' fortunes just nose-dived. They are just not equipped to deal with the material "losses" that will accompany this shift. As for the parents themselves, they will not only be dealing with the end of their world as they know it, they will also be forced to create a new family paradigm, a new ground floor from which these new, relevant "family team" values can blossom.

Blossom? Huh? Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? It can be. The reality is: just like the aftermath of any disaster, adjustments must be made. How? Attitude is everything. "What does not kill me makes me stronger," is a perfect example of the outlook we must embrace.

The deck is being shuffled right now. What will your hand look like and where will you stand in the emerging game of life?)

Now back to the rant:

These kids don't understand that their recent elevation to sainthood is the side effect of many Baby Boomers' wild goose chase for everlasting youth in the face of impending mortality. Sure, folks have always tried to look good, but this adoration of the "Youngling culture"—including the obsession with the Lindsay Lohans and Paris Hiltons of the planet—is nothing more than our desire to look young, at whatever the cost, even if we have to fake an interest in Youngling music, fashion, and slang. "Are you down with that?"

Oddly enough, this youth-centered aberration has only been around in very recent history. Throughout the ages, the Wisdom of the Elders has always been considered cherished information from highly respected sources. Those with experience were naturally placed in charge and were very satisfied with their rightful place in the scheme of things. Everyone under 30 was considered a kid, and kids were not considered at all. (Oddly enough, in Astrology, a child becomes an adult at 30, after the completion of something called a Saturn return. Coincidence? I don't think so.)

Let's take a look at the passage of Pluto over the years as it relates to our fascination with youth. It all started in 1966... Pluto was halfway through Virgo and gender-non-specific Mercurial types were just becoming the rage. Think David Bowie. Suddenly Twiggy happened.

Everything about Twiggy contradicted everything that had been cool for Boomers' entire lives! As the golden Pluto in Leo generation, we grew up with curvaceous feline goddesses like Raquel Welch, Brigitte Bardot, and Sophia Loren. Samantha Stevens on Bewitched was one hot witch, and don't even get me started on that trollop Genie. Even as babies we'd drooled over the Pluto in Cancer hot mommas like Marilyn, Jayne, and Maureen O'Hara with their DD boobs and size 16 butts. All of them were real women.

In America, land of plenty, there seemed to be no excuse for a starvling Brit like Twiggy. Boomers just weren't used to androgynous, big-eyed, innocent waifs. Washboard bodies had not been popular since the Roaring 20s and... and well... weren't they in a depression back then? Wasn't everybody starving? Yccck. Who wanted to look like that?

We tried to withstand Twiggy. We did. And yet, much like the Beatles and their long hair, something about Twiggy grabbed hold of our imaginations and just wouldn't let us go. So we had to adjust. That adjustment began the era of the flat chest. Whacked-off hair and strange diets were the latest teen trends that concerned parents, in stages ranging from humor to horror. Weirdly enough, my 90 pound pixie-haired girlfriend Malcom was suddenly IN and our previously popular 42DD pal, Elaine, was OUT.

Then in 1980 when Pluto was in Libra getting ready to burst into Scorpio, Brooke Shields—with her perfectly balanced features—portrayed a 12 year old hottee in Pretty Baby and then a sexy teen in Blue Lagoon. Just like that, all the illusions of sexless androgeny were ripped away. Children were not big-eyed, innocent waifs with Raggedy Ann eyelashes anymore. Brooke had thick, expressive eyebrows, a voluptuous mouth, and her body was curvy, sensual and ready for action! Just give the girl a deserted island with a cute blonde teenager and watch 'em breed like bunnies.

As the rest of the 80s rolled on we moved into a grim period. Now we really became obsessed with Younglings, and we wanted them to be sexy and urban and ethnic. Not only does Scorpio rule transformation, it handles all the scary stuff, like the underworld, gangs and gangsters, forbidden sex. Out pop wildly independent directors like Spike Lee to give us movies like New Jack City giving us a look at a subculture most of us knew nothing about. Of course, just as Twiggy captured the Boomers, Pluto Scorpio soon had everyone under 25 wearing scary clothes big enough to hide weapons and drugs in.

Glitch, regroup, blood sugar low... that's the rant for now!