The Shape of Our Souls

I recently received another thoughtful missive from my internet buddy, Trust the Process, and the topic reminded me of the poem below that I wrote 20+ years ago. I'm including them both:


Toni, I do not know if what someone does really tells you about who they are, unless it's true that some folks' personalities do match their job description. There are 10 or 20 questions people ask, as if interviewing you, to decide something about you in their minds. I'm not sure what or why.

You have never asked me about work. Never asked what I do, where I live, what kind of car I drive. You've never asked me anything that would result in a one or two word answer, thereby shutting down conversation. You do not decide whether or not a person has merit based on bank account, job title or their neighborhood's zip code. I have found that the people I enjoy most never talk about these subjects. Of course, it sometimes comes out naturally in conversation but it is not a deciding factor.

Some people never talk about their thoughts or dreams or belief in things that speak of who they really are, yet, they talk a lot. A whole lot. I find that when you remove external trappings, the zip codes, the cars, the titles, people let you in. And, it is usually not a bad place to be.


THE SHAPE OF MY SOUL
by Toni Siegel

Once upon a time, I had a six pack
You could bounce quarters off...
Though I forget now why I ever wanted to.
I measured everyone by how they looked
By what they drove.
By how they dressed.
But not by what they thought
Or where they were heading.
Or how they behaved.

Over the years I changed and grew...
Emotionally, physically and spiritually.
And now I am one of the people
I used to judge.
And you know what?
With my soul wearing rose-colored glasses,
I see things in a very different way.
I discovered that clothes may fake the image
But they don’t make the hu-man.

Before I was desired...
Now I am respected.
I was constantly being watched...
Now I am listened to.
My physical “perfection” was always being weighed and measured...
Now the wisdom of my words is weighed and measured.
I used to think that others liked me
Depending on what I thought about them.
Now I know it’s how I think about me.

I once believed that I and everyone I knew
Were victims of circumstance
Prey to every ill wind that blew.
Now I realize that the only ill-winds that blow
Are the negative thoughts I allow into my life.
I once believed that if you want something you have to take it...
Now I know that if I give it away it will come back to me.
I used to think I was alone in my beliefs...
But now I know there are many others out there.

Sometimes I wonder about
All those people who still think
That image is the only thing that matters.
What happens when they begin to lose their looks...
Not reaching the realizations that I have.
What will be left in its place when physical “perfection” is gone?

Now that I have found my balance point
I may appear physically flawed...
But you should see the shape of my soul!